I went for cosmetic surgery last year at the age of 54
on my way home from the clinic I popped into the newsagent to buy a paper. Before leaving I said to the newsagent, ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?’ ‘About 35,’ is the reply. ‘I’m actually 54 years old, I said, I felt really happy. I then went into the fish and chip shop and, again, before leaving I asked the same question, to which the I had the reply , ‘Oh, you look about 29.’ I am now feeling really good. While standing at a bus stop I ask an old woman the same question. She replies, ‘I’m 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your trousers and play with your wedding tackle for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age.’ I tought about it then thought ‘What the hell’ and lets her slip her hand down his trousers. Ten minutes later the old lady announces, ‘You’re 54 years old.’ I was stunned!, ‘That was brilliant. How did you do that?’ The old lady replies, ‘I was behind you in the chip shop.’
